Inside this post: Learn how to shake off the Mom Guilt that our parents never felt and start enjoying Motherhood.
It’s a cold and rainy day and I’m sitting on the couch with a book. I read…
“Do people look the same when they go to heaven, mommy?” “I don’t know. I don’t think so.” “Then how do people recognize each other?” “I don’t know, sweetie. They just feel it. You don’t need your eyes to love, right?”
With tears in my eyes, I look up and see my son staring at me.
A thought immediately snaps into my head…
I shouldn’t be reading, I should be playing with my kids.
Ah yes, the Mom Guilt has shown up again.
It’s so sudden, I’m shocked by its intensity.
My brain starts to spin.
Time goes by so fast, I should be embracing every moment.
I really should stop reading now…
But WHY? This is crazy!
At 4 and 7, my kids are pretty self-sufficient. They haven’t been asking me to play, and they seem just fine.
Logically, I know that it’s a good thing for my kids to play alone. It’s great for their development.
Why in the world do I feel this way?
I can’t help but wonder if my Mom ever felt bad for taking a few minutes to herself.
There’s some heavy pressure for Mama’s this day to be engaged all the time with our children.
We read stories about unattended children getting hurt by objects as benign as a paperclip, how parents get arrested for allowing their children to go outside and play alone, and how it’s important that we’re actively engaged with our children most of the day.
The culture of Motherhood these days leads to Mom Guilt in a way that it never has before.
We like to joke that our parents kicked us out of the house as soon as they could and didn’t expect us home until dinnertime.
And here we are within arms distance of our children all the time.
Anytime we sit down to do something for ourselves, we instantly feel like we’re letting down our children.
Personally, I’m tired of it.
It starts right now.
Let’s break down the most common reasons why mothers feel guilt and discover real reasons why we should shake off the Mom Guilt.
I don’t spend enough time with my kids.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a working Mom who’s away from her kids all day, or a Mom at home, ALL Moms feel this guilt.
You want to spend time with your kids, but life is busy and hectic and no one else is going to do all your chores so you can play Snap Circuits with little Jonny.
Different parents connect with their kids in different ways.
My friend, Beth, loves being silly and pretend plays with her kids like a champ.
My other friend, Nicole, playfully teaches, cooks, and creates with her kids.
Not going to lie here, I want to be like Beth and Nicole. I look at them being so playful and creative with their kids and there’s this pang of guilt inside of me.
“Why can’t I teach my kids to cook like she does?” “Why don’t I enjoy getting on the floor and pretending?” Their kids love it so much, and I feel like my sons are missing out.
But, you know what? When I take a step back, I realize that I do connect with my kids in very different ways.
I love to wrestle, play board games, bake cookies, and work on puzzles with my kids. We will often pull out the play dough and make silly creations together. And, I’m always more than happy to build epic LEGO creations.
We all connect and show love differently with our kids, and that’s okay.
Maybe you’re a teacher who likes to guide your kids. Maybe you’d rather be in the kitchen cooking with your kids or cuddling on the couch reading together.
All that quality time counts.
Pretend play may make you want to escape to the laundry room, but you don’t have to play all the time to show your children that you care.
You do you. You are the perfect Mom for your kids, quit trying to be someone you aren’t.